What Causes You To Go Hay-Wire?
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Do you know what your “Hot Buttons” are?
Everyone has triggers that set them off so they respond immediately, often thoughtlessly, and nearly always to their detriment. We call these triggers “Hot Buttons.” Whenever they’re pressed you are likely to ruin your day by using inappropriate behavior. However, the more aware you are of them, and how they make you feel, the less likely you are to let them cause you harm.
When your “Hot Buttons” are triggered, it’s your values that take over with an instant response. Your emotions come into play and instead of behaving in a logical and thoughtful way, you start getting angry, or sad, or impatient, and do or say things you may well regret soon after you’ve done or said them.
These values that you hold so dear aren’t obvious most of the time. It’s only when they are challenged that you swing into action and respond. The response is usually fast and furious and the damage is done before you’ve had time to think about it.
Keep track of every time you respond inappropriately
Ask the people you spend time with if they’ve noticed what “sets you off? Do they know what to avoid when they are with you?
Think about some occasions when you got particularly upset. Try to replay what happened in your head. What was it that started you off and got you emotionally upset?
Look back at times when you can recall acting or speaking in haste and regretting it afterwards. Think about what triggered your response. Be specific about whether it was something someone did or something they said.
There may be recurring themes that cause you to respond inappropriately. Perhaps you always get mad when other people boast about their successes. Or when they flaunt their many possessions in your face. Or when they go on and on about their children’s prowess.
Keep a hold of your emotions
Most parents teach their children to take a “time-out” when they are upset or angry. For the child it’s often a physical ‘time-out,” going to an area or another room by themselves until they’ve calmed down.
You don’t need to remove yourself physically from the situation, but you can take a mental “time-out”: which will give you the chance to delay your response until you know it will be measured and thoughtful instead of instant and emotional.
Controlling your “Hot Buttons” will lead to a much calmer, pleasant life. If you can stop yourself from the instant response, you’ll likely be able to step back and make a more thoughtful contribution, if not right away, then at a later time when you’ve had a chance to calm down.
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