Save Yourself From Emotional Responses
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Do you know what sets you off?
If you find yourself saying, far too often, “Oh no! It’s got me again,” this is for you. Many of us are tripped up by things that spark an emotional reaction. One moment we’re sitting, relaxed and content, and the next we’re being led by the nose by an advertising jingle, a newspaper headline, or some emotional slogan. If we want to lower stress—and stay in charge of our reactions—it’s a good idea to understand what catches us and why.
Throughout every day, we’re surrounded by baited hooks trying to snatch our attention and direct it where someone else wants it to go. Headlines on the television, articles in newspapers and magazines and advertising all play a large part in getting us worked up. We think we’re pretty smart about avoiding or ignoring them, but often our emotions kick in, our blood pressure gets critical, and we groan, “oh no, it got me again!”
Why you respond the way you do
What happened? Something grabbed your attention and set you going down a path you’ve followed all too many times before, and which you swore to yourself that you would never go down again.
The process is fairly simple, but that doesn’t make it any less aggravating. Somewhere in your mind is a trigger: a word, a tone of voice, a look, an idea. That trigger is connected to a habitual emotional reaction. As soon as you hear or see that trigger the reaction kicks in instantly. It feels as if you grab at it—and get soundly hooked—without any conscious choice on your part, until it’s too late.
Common triggers to watch out for
Everyone’s triggers are slightly different, but here are some common ones. It’s time to begin your search for the ones most likely to get you riled up and moving down the path of emotion rather than thoughtful response.
Ego. Many people are caught by their own sense of self-importance. They can’t resist getting involved, even in things of no concern to them or situations they know are difficult. It’s a form of showing off that usually ends in a mess.
Desire. When you want something — money, power, status, love — anything that even hints that it might be linked to what you want will grab you in an instant. Greedy people are some of the most gullible and easily-manipulated folk around.
Being a ‘savior’. Lots of people love the idea that they can step into a bad situation and clear it up. Show them someone in trouble and they can’t resist the temptation to step in and save the day. If it worked, it would be okay. Sadly, good intentions tend to be all they have to offer. When the rescue turns sour, you have two miserable people instead of just the one.
Gossip. This is one of the commonest triggers. It’s linked to many people’s love of drama. They aren’t so much caught by the information as by the image of themselves creating a great dramatic scene as they pass it on to others. They’ll burst through the door, shouting: “Hey! You’ll never guess what I heard.” People will be impressed—perhaps. Mostly gossip just causes misery and stress and marks out those who spread it as malicious jerks.
Boredom. When you’re bored, almost anything can catch you if it seems more exciting than whatever you’re doing: scanning e-mails, reading jokes on the Web, sending someone a silly message. So many people today are bored that anything promising excitement can draw their attention like a magnet.
If you find that some of these triggers apply to you as the major cause of emotional responses you dislike, then you should acknowledge your problem and every time one pops up try to ignore it and walk away.
Triggers like these are also used by other people to manipulate and gain control over you—don’t let them do that any more. Become your own person. Take time to sort out what triggers you must avoid and learn to think for yourself. Once you know what to avoid, it will get easier and you will find that you are gaining greater control over you life and getting much less stressed. There’s no need to go through life as a victim of your emotions. Taking charge of them will keep you on an even keel and lead to a more balanced life.
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